So what if it's been over five months since I've blogged anything..... I've been busy. 

John and I have been fortunate enough to have his sister come over every Tuesday and help with the housework. We have been doing a lot of organizing and evaluating. John and I we both raised in families where at least one  of our parents were "pack rats" and apparently it's something we "inherited" from them. Lucky us. So after a couple of weeks Gina and I have actually been making some progress. I'm truly blessed to have someone in the family who really knows how to organize and oddly enough seems to enjoy doing it. She drives all the way from Aloah, Oregon which is about a 40-45 minute drive each way.  

It had been about three weeks since I have completed the laundry. Don't get me wrong. I would wash and dry it but folding it was not usually done. So yesterday I spent most of the day washing last weeks laundry and folding all of the already clean and the freshly washed clothes. 

We are hosting our families in our home this year for Thanksgiving and Gina and I have been planning it for a few weeks. If everyone we invite comes we will have over 25 people here. Big production, lots of food and activities for the kids to keep them busy so the adults can have a little time to talk... I'm very excited . 

Christian is already 4 moths old and is growing so fast. He rolled over for the first time on Halloween. He is always smiling and in a good mood, well unless he has gas or Brandon takes his binkie or decides to poke him in the eye. Christian, like Brandon, was born with dark hair,  at around 4 months Brandon started to loose his. I was looking at Christian's hair today and I think I saw a few blonde hairs where his dark hair has started to fall out. I can't picture Christian with blonde hair but I thought that with Brandon too and now I can't imagine Brandon with brown hair. Well it's late in the day and I'll probably be up in a few hours with Christian. 

So I know it's been quite a while since I've written. I have been knee deep in my knitting and yarn obsession lately I haven't had a spare thought in my brain to actually write something.

I'm doing alright. I gained 10 lbs in 4 weeks mostly from water retention. I can press down on my shin and an indentation stays. It's kinda gross. I had an appointment yesterday and I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead (I'm only 34 weeks but I'm measuring as someone who is 38 weeks along) which is a little nerve wracking. We will schedule the c-section for 7/7/08 which is three days earlier than I thought, 8 days before the due date. He mentioned to me that he is the on call doc for the fourth of July weekend... Making me a little nervous. I really would prefer not to go into labor but at the same time I don't want to have a huge baby. I don't know what I could have done differently, I ate much better with this baby and was more active. I have gained up to now a little more than half of what I did with Brandon so I think I am just destined to have big babies. As long as the baby is healthy and I'm healthy that's all I really care about. I don't think I'm ready to spend another 6 days in the hospital. Most of that was on bed rest so you can imagine how horrible it was... If this baby is healthy and I don't develope anything we should be discharged on that Thursday.

My mind is spinning over all the things I NEED to get done.
Put in cabinets and book shelves in the family room

• Move old book shelves into my craft room for yarn/ knitting and paper storage
• Knit a million things for the baby, but blue or pink???? Maybe I'll just stick with ivory or white
• Pack for the hospital
• Move a love seat to our bedroom
• Buy changing pad, nightlight for our room
• Lower our bed so I'll be able to get into it better. right now it has to be 3 1/2 feet up
• Make out a schedule for whoever is watching Brandon
• Set up the guest bedroom for the people who will be staying to watch Brandon
• Make food to freeze so we'll have something to eat when we get home
• And last but not least, we have to tell John's mom that she cannot smoke at all while she watches Brandon and that we will no longer be visiting over to their house so long as she does so. Brandon's health and the health of the baby isn't worth it. Hopefully this will give her the reason to quit.

Will there be enough time??? For some reason having the surgery date move up just those few days and realizing that I may have this baby a lot sooner than any one thought if I go into labor is making me panic. I got up two hours early because I can't sleep. Just keep me in your prayers. Pray for my sanity, mine and the baby's health, John and my stress level, Brandon's behavior and acceptance of the new baby, friends and family that will help with all the chaos and pray that John's mom will be understanding and realize the importance of our decision...

I'm not sure

Well it's been a while since I've posted so I'll give everyone an update. I had my glucose test on Tuesday and was expecting a phone call on Friday with the results, but after 4:00 and no call, I decided to call them. I get the message that the office is closed. Apparently they close at 12:30 on Fridays. I'll just assume that if I have gestational diabetes then I would have gotten a call. Either way I have an appointment on Tuesday and will know for sure then. I have a sinus infection with a sore throat and congestion, headaches, I swear the whole left side of my head is just one big pain. 

I had to take Brandon to the doctor on Wednesday. He has had this horrible cough for a while now and it seemed to be getting worse. We think that he has asthma so we're trying out an asthma medication. It has stopped his wheezy breathing but his cough and runny nose haven't improved. So we are to avoid cats, especially long haired cats, cigarette smoke, even the smell on someones clothes can irritate his lungs, and heavy exercise which isn't really a problem yet. 

We have a mouse. John's dad came over yesterday and set some traps. This morning when I got up and checked we had one under the sink. The trap that was under the counter was triggered but no mouse, the peanut butter was all gone though. We'll have to set them up again. So in a way I'm glad that it worked so soon. I was thinking it would take a couple of days. Now we just have to seal up the holes and figure out where they are coming in from. 

John and I bought some meat from a guy who just butchered a cow so we shouldn't be wanting for a steak or roast for quite a while. 9 chuck roasts, 1 tri tip, 1 Flank, 8 Ribeyes, 3 packages of stew meat, 2 sirloin tip roasts, 7 t-bones, 3 short ribs, 3 tenderloins, 2 rump roasts, 13 round steaks, 9 top sirloin, and about 50 or so 8 oz. packages of hamburger... 

Well I need to get going. Brandon is finding things to eat. This morning while I was getting ready to head out he took a nice bite of John's deoderant. I swear this boy...

Crappy doctor's appointment. First, they were really backed up and it took a while to be seen, which was fine, i was knitting and Brandon was having a good time looking at all the people waiting. Then I have my blood tested for the glucose screening test and I didn't pass. No good. So then I have to make an appointment to have the three hour test done. And for the three days prior I have to eat a specific diet and gosh, no smoking... ;-) So I am not looking forward to that, My blood pressure is great, but my weight was so so. It seems like when ever I "brag" about how little weight I've gained it'll go up and then I'm embarrassed. The doctor told me I was measuring at 29 weeks.... I'm only 25 weeks. So either we were way off on the dates or like he said around 28 weeks I'll start to measure more accurately. Or maybe I just have a gigantic baby inside me. After all my uterus is the size of a soccer ball right now... The scars on my face that are darkening are what the medical professionals like to call melasma. It has to do with the pigment in my skin darkening... I asked him what pigment.... I have none. Apparently there is nothing you can do about it yeah for me.

Well that is all I have to report for right now. I'm really tired and want to nap. Do you think I'll get one? Brandon is asleep in the car, maybe I'll nap for 30 minutes until I hear him cry to come and get him

Our deck is nearly done. We just need a week of dry weather so we can stain it and it'll be ready to go! We had a bench made for it and are debating on what type of table to have made also. You can't imagine how handy having friends who know how to do things like that has come in handy. We plan on getting a fire pit too to make the nights last longer. I can't wait for the summer, I'll be out there all the time. Oh, and I'll have a new baby! I bought some flowers today. Light pink carnations, some tulips and another flower that I can't remember how to say or spell, but they are really fragrant and Alyssa had some purple flowers like them on the table at Easter. But mine are white and pink. 

Brandon is going through what I hope is just a phase. Separation anxiety at night and during the day for his naps. It's worse at night. It took nearly two hours for him to fall asleep. We are trying to just let him cry then to check on him every once in a while but when we leave or won't pick him up it seems to make him more mad then if we had never come in. John can't bare to hear him cry. He thinks I'm cruel. But I would rather go through this now when he won't remember it than in a couple years when he can crawl out of his bed and walk to our room... I just want this to be nipped in the bud before the baby comes. I can hardly deal with this when I'm actually getting a decent amount of sleep, I'm sure I wouldn't be a nice person to be around if I were sleep deprived. It's been nice being able to experiment with food and seeing what he will and won't eat. He's pretty brave and eats things that John or I won't. He likes seaweed with rice that John won't touch and raw tomatoes that I can't stand. He loves scrambled eggs, multi grain cheerios, green peas, peaches, teddy grahams and oyster crackers. he is getting the hang of eating long noodles and prefers them to smaller pasta. Of course it's more of a mess for mom to clean up!

I was at Ross today buying a lamp and I ran across a dumpling maker that makes 5 different sizes. One is really small and would be good for ravioli's (tomorrow nights dinner, who's coming over???) and a larger one that is about the right size for a personal sized calzone. Can't wait to try them all out! 

John's mom came home last Monday from Vegas and came over on Saturday to visit a while with us and to see how much Brandon has grown. She had been gone for 3 months and I'm sure he has changed a lot to someone who hasn't seen him for that long. She is deciding what to do. If she's going to go back or stay here and work. She wasn't able to use her vacation and family medical leave at the same time and keep her health insurance so she just might have to work a while then take some vacation and go back. Grandma still has 8 or 9 more chemo treatments and she is doing really well. Especially considering her age and the kind of cancer it is. 

I am officially 24 weeks pregnant today with only about 15 more weeks to go (39 total). I have gained 12 pounds and I am thrilled about that. If I can just keep the pace of weight gain to what it has been I should only gain about another 8 to 10 pounds. Let's just hope I do and have an easier sized baby. At my next appointment I have my glucose screening test and going by the weight I have gained I am confident I don't have gestational diabetes. My blood pressure has been good and with any luck I'll be able to keep it under control and not have to go on medication like before. I want to find out how much I weighed with Brandon by this time in pregnancy. This time I did start out 20 pounds heavier but I also gained over 70 with Brandon. So let's hope I have gained less this by this time than last time. 

Well I should get going. With any luck John will be coming home within a few minutes. That and Brandon is starting to destroy the kitchen.... it's his little way of telling me he wants some attention!!! Oh but he's just so darn cute!

Okay, I just found this and I thought I would share it with you. I laughed so hard, I was crying. Too funny, I hope you enjoy!

http://tinyurl.com/2ad7f8/

So I have been looking for new ways to be more involved at church. John and I go to Good Shepherd and while it's a wonderful place to go, the mass amounts of people who do go is amazing and can be hard at times to connect with the others who go. John started going when he was in high school so it's been, I'd say, 14 years for him and just about three years for me. He went before the new building was built, he knows a lot of people who go and just over all is a more out going person. So for me who tends to be extremely shy in large crowds and in new situations try to avoid doing anything that needs me to be social. 

We started attending one of Good Shepherds Mini Churches which is what you might consider a Sunday School. It's called Young Families and I have really enjoyed getting to know a few of the women (and their husbands) through that. From that stemmed a book club that I have been to once and will go to another meeting for a different book (which I haven't even begun to read) this next Sunday. One of the ladies that go to church and the book club was in the birthing class John and I took last year and we have gotten to talking. She asked me if I had been to such and such activities, that I didn't even know existed. Of course I had not. There is a wide variety of things to do for especially the stay at home mom. Today I went to a Mom to Mom event where Author and fellow Good Shepherd member Randy Alcorn spoke. The topic was "Answering your tough questions" and it was awesome! Everyone was invited to write questions they wanted answered, some of them were very personal: husbands who've had affairs to kid related questions about sex and being an example to them. Randy brought along a table full of books that we were able to choose one from. I picked 50 days of Heaven. We already had the book Heaven which John has read but this was the same book written more like a devotional style, the original book condensed into what he thought were the most important things to know and in a format that "busy moms will have time to read". 

When I first showed up I had no idea that so many women would be attending, about 100, so I was kinda at a loss. But as I was dropping Brandon off in the nursery Alyssa's friend Anne Dunlop walked in and I was able to tag along with her and she helped me navigate where to go. She doesn't go to GS but has friends that do and had been to these Mom to Mom events before. We sat together and talked about her chickens. It was a really fun time. I couldn't believe all the babies and other pregnant women who where there, there had to have been about 10 babies all about 4 months or younger and like 6 other pregnant women. 

Before the meeting started Kristin Coppom (Formerly of Gateway Baptist) came to the table and my bravery shone through and I asked her, only because I was positive I was right, if she used to go to Gateway. She said she had and I told her I recognized her and remembered her husband used to do worship there like he does at GS. I think the only reason that I even remembered her was I thought she looked vaguely like my mom's cousin Diane. I think it's her mouth. 

One of our good friends goes to the Gresham Mom's Club and I have been going to their play groups. It's been fun watching Brandon interact with kids closer to his age and it's fun to talk to other moms. They have a lot of activities planned each month but they usually conflict with something I'm already doing. Between my doctors appointments and running around getting things done between nap time and being completely exhausted, sometimes I feel like I have no free time... 

Brandon's birthday was great. We drove down to JC Penny and had his picture taken. Too many cute pictures to choose from, I don't know how I'll narrow it down. Then we came home and shared some chicken nuggets and fries (bad mom) and he just played all afternoon. He never took  a nap until later that night around 5:30. I couldn't keep him up, he just laid himself on some pillows and fell asleep. I woke him up just after 7 and played until John came home. Had a late dinner and put him to bed and enjoyed each others company until we just both couldn't stay awake any longer. Saturday is his party and I don't know how it's going to go. It's the first time we are going to have a formal party besides at Christmas so we'll just have to go with the flow. We have no deck still and I don't know how long it's going to take to get it in. Looking forward to having a garden and spending more time outside when the weather gets nice. Hopefully it isn't too far off. I am getting tired of the rain... But in a few months, after the baby is here, I'll probably be saying I wish it would rain. Thank goodness this house has air conditioning!!!

Why I hate daylight savings.

Who has a baby that is on a schedule? Well of course he didn't want to go to bed last night and all night he was up crying and whining. I went in and gave him some ora gel for his gums and he went right back to sleep. For about 4o minutes. So then John goes in and tries to calm him down again and with no luck decides to bring Brandon in our room which is completely fine at 4 in the morning. Brandon doesn't want to sleep. Brandon wants to kick mommy in the tummy and make her miserable. He went to sleep for a while, but I was awake for hours it seemed. Sleeping about two feet away from the headboard and like a cat right up to the edge of the matress. I was paranoid that I would fall off and land on the stool I use to help me in bed. John would occasionally say "Lay down Brandon" when ever he would lift his head off his chest. Up and down they went attempting to let everyone get some sleep. I think they fell asleep in the recliner in Brandon's room for a while. Either that or I fell asleep for a little while. I finally gave up around "8:30" and got up and took a shower with him. He's wide awake. Last night we gave him his first cup of whole milk. He seemed to like it but I know he realizes it isn't formula. Even though officially he isn't a year until Wednesday I thought it would be alright if he started milk anyway. We had just run out of formula and I couldn't justify spending $14 more dollars on something that wasn't necessary. 

Well Brandon and I are finishing our breakfast. Cheerios and milk I'm having tea and he had some apple juice. I need to go wake John up so he can shower and drive us to church!

This morning went as expected. Brandon woke up at 7 and John brought him in so we could get a tad bit more rest. About 35 minutes! Then John got up, turned on the shower and I put Brandon on the floor and laid in bed for a few more minutes. Then Brandon pushes the bathroom doors open and is headed for the shower, I figured since he had one with me and one with John yesterday, he wasn't due for another one until later tonight at the earliest. But who knows, he may just explode in his diaper or something and it's easier to just rinse him off then to waste 20 wipes and get a sore bottom... So I picked him up and changed his diaper then headed downstairs to get some breakfast. I noticed a couple of guys walking through our backyard, that seems to be a weekly occurrence  around here. Last week a couple walked through checking for drainage issues. And the week or so before the neighboring house had a fence installed and some landscaping done. Last night with out me knowing it we had some sod delivered and it was sitting in our driveway. John came home and said we had our lawn laying in our driveway. So this morning we are getting a backyard. I hope Brandon can go out and play in our new backyard he hasn't been on grass for a long time so this, I hope will be nice. I asked dad what types of plants would be good for our backyard as it doesn't get too much light. It faces the east but there is a fence there and it casts a shadow when the sun is hitting that side of the house. I would love a hydrangea, he suggested climbing roses for the fence and some irises, fox glove that he is going to donate to my worthy cause. I would love to have a little garden but until the fence goes up on the other side of our house I don't want to plant anything too close to the property line. So we'll just see, we are also planning on expanding our deck. It's an okay size for right now, if we don't plan on having company, but if we want to have room for more people and John's barbeques then it'll need to at least twice the size. John wants to have it run the length of the house, but I don't want it to take up too much of the yard. So we are just going to need to plan it out and see how much space we'll need for both. 

Brandon is going to be babysat for the second time in his life today. While I'm at the dentist mom or dad is going to be over here watching him. I'm glad that he does well with other adults. When we first started taking him the the nursery at church I was a little worried that he would miss us. But there are so many things to distract him there like other babies and nice ladies with crackers. He is walking now, but crawls mostly, it's faster and he won't fall down when he does it. But every once in a while I'll catch him risking it and walking to the couch or at least somewhere soft to land like to pillows on the floor.  I keep trying to move farther back so he will walk more, but if he feels like he can't do it then he'll just get down and crawl to me. 

I had my ultrasound last Thursday. The technician said the baby looks great, I think I saw boy parts, she asked us if she was supposed to be looking for something and we told her no. John said he didn't see anything. But I'm pretty certain he didn't know where we were looking. I have gained about 7 pounds at 20 weeks this pregnancy but I am also 20 pounds heavier to start out with. I am happy with the weight gain. I keep forgetting that it's supposed to happen and not to get upset. I would like to gain no more than 25 pounds. The doctor seems to be happy so I'm not going to worry. This pregnancy I have been a lot more constipated and that is annoying. I'm sure you'll agree that if you go a day with out "going" then you don't feel normal, especially seeing that I used to "go" at least twice a day. People think it's my prenatal vitamin, but I'm not so sure. I have been taking one everyday for two years straight so you would think that it wouldn't all of the sudden have an impact, but pregnancy does strange things to your body. So after this bottle of pills is finished I'm thinking of switching brands to one that has a stool softener in it. Sorry for all the info... this is just what I'm dealing with right now. 

So I should get going. I need a shower and the dishwasher needs emptying.

Happy Groundhogs Day! Does anyone know if Phil saw his shadow or not? If he were here in Gresham I doubt he would. It has been snowing pretty good for about 3 hours and has just started to stick. I just came home from the dentist and he said my wisdom tooth that has been working it's way down was just barely sticking out and the other one he couldn't even see.  He also gave me a complement of saying that since my mouth was so clean he wasn't worried about getting an infection on the tooth! I think that's a compliment right? I mean It's been at least 6 years since I've been to the dentist. I mentioned that I wanted to get the retainer taken out because it was causing a lot of plaque buildup and I didn't want to get tooth decay, gingavitis or anything nasty like that. He told me that we could probably take it out and make me a small plastic retainer that I would only have to wear for about 20 minutes a day. Wonderful! Where were those 20 minute retainers 14 years ago when I had my braces taken off??? I am truly thankful for my dad who was so active keeping our teeth clean. I would hear stories of how he would brush our teeth when we were babies and first got them and how much I liked going to the dentist. Hearing him tell us that it is easier to maintain good teeth than to fix teeth that are bad. Kind of like having a car, if you get it checked every three months it's easier to fix any problems before they get worse and more expensive. To this day I don't know how many of the four kids have cavities. I know I have one and it was so minor that Dr. Norton didn't even have to drill or numb my mouth. 

On to another subject, I have been very fortunate, like my older sister and mother, to have a room that I can keep and work on different projects, like sewing, scrapbooking and crafts. John went this morning and bought me three cabinets with drawers to use as a base for my work station. We are later on today going to get a countertop for it so I can actually use the room.  I asked him last night, on a lark, if I could get a scrapbooking tool, and without question to what it was or how much it was he said yes. I have been looking at getting a Cricut for a while and though they are expensive, I think in the long run they will be worth the investment. He told me that he likes seeing me have hobbies and doing things that I like to do. Dad is the same way with mom, I don't know how many sewing machines she has had in the last 10 years but he seems to know how much she really enjoys it and that, I think, in return makes him happy. Plus, think of all the things that mom can embroider Jeeps onto!!! Now I just have to decide which one I want and where to get it. I can go really basic and get the one that is $184 at Wal-mart, or go slightly more than that and spend $250 and get the same machine plus a bunch of extras that I would eventually need to have anyway. There is another machine that just came out and it's around $500 and the only difference that I really noticed is it will cut longer pieces of paper, it says there are a few more shortcuts on it, but for just starting out I don't think I'll need anything quite that fancy. It would be like for my first sewing machine. Instead of buying the refurbished one I bought for $300, getting something like mom has that hooks up to her computer and embroiders and has all the bells and whistles for over a thousand. So what I am saying is I am so excited to finally be getting a room that I can do my own thing in and be creative. 

In other news, my dear friend Lesa was due on the 25th of January with her third and last child. She has two boys and is finally having a little girl. Well as far as I know as of yesterday she still hasn't had her baby yet. I don't know what I would do with myself if I were that overdue. Please think about her in your prayers. Oh, and a bunch of you probably went to school with either her cousins or brothers, she's a Caudle. 

Hmmm What else? Brandon has slept through the night all the way for the last two nights. and that is such a switch from the week before where he would wake up at least 4 times and need something. He is supposed to be taking a nap but I can hear him talking to something. Probably the talking Napolean Dynomite doll Toni bought for me as a birthday present a few years ago. He thinks it's fascinating!!! Well I should go. I have a pork shoulder that I need to make and need to find a recipe for it. I've never made a whole pork shoulder before, ribs and loin yes, but this weighs 5 pounds. I'm thinking about just making a bunch of pulled pork, but haven't quite decided... I guess you'll just have to wait to find out!

Hello to Everyone. I just had my second Prenatal appointment and everything so far looks good. I was able to hear the heartbeat, the little one didn't like to stay in one place so it took a while for it to be found. And that is always a little nerve wracking. In those few seconds the worst of thoughts race through your mind... But the baby has a healthy heart rate of 166 bpm. My blood pressure is at 120/78 and that's pretty good. During Christmas week I had been so sick with morning sickness, not being able to taste anything let alone keep it down for very long, I ended up loosing 5 lbs since my last appointment 4 weeks ago. Now if I weren't pregnant it would be a good thing but it can be bad if I loose too much weight. But I think the morning sickness has finally stopped. It's been a week since I've felt nauseous, well except for tonight.... Someone was passing gas and I just about tossed my cookies. Sorry if that's too much info. And just so everyone knows it wasn't me, Brandon or John... So don't get any ideas. 

I have had loads of help getting the house into livable order from friends and family who have come over. I am trying to think of how I want it decorated and just how much more money I have to spend on different projects. I keep going back between something really elegant and something more country/old fashioned. I'm sure when I see something I like I'll know it. I looked through the Pottery Barn catalog and drooling over some furniture and drapes... Oh well. I suppose I'd have a better time if was able to decorate over time and relax then to get frustrated because I felt like I had to get it done in a certain amount of time. Alyssa has graciously offered her assistance in helping me. We have similar tastes in most things so that is going to be a big help. Now if we could just find the time when we could get together...

John's mom flew down to Las Vegas and his dad and oldest sister left today and are driving down. Please keep them in your prayers. Apparently Grandma Shirley will be having Chemo-therapy for 5 months and John's mom is going to try to stay down there for the whole time so she can take care of her. We aren't quite clear as to why she can't move up here and get treatment. Her doctor just has advised against this. I would like to go and see her sometime before the baby gets here but many airlines won't let pregnant women fly if they are past a certain month so we would need to do this within the next 4 months or so. We'll see. Well I hear Peanut crying upstairs so I should go make sure he's okay.

Well I suppose I should update everyone on what has been going on. We are mostly unpacked. All the important things are but there are boxes of miscellaneous things that we just don't quite know what to do with yet. We had a really great Christmas with my side of the family over. We had a bunch of goodies, it seemed like everyone brought at least three things to munch on before we sat down to eat. I had been snacking off and on all day so by the time dinner was here I didn't even finish my plate. But I have also been sick with congestion and so not being able to taste very well has made my appetite pretty small. 

The weather has been pretty interesting. Last week we had snow just about everyday. We even got enough snow to cover the ground to say we had a white Christmas. Well at least for a couple hours. This week it has seemed to rain everyday. I am trying to figure out when it will be dry enough to take down the outdoor decorations but according to the weather report it will be raining until sometime next week.

John's Grandma who lives in Las Vegas usually comes to town during the holidays and stays for a few months, but she has been having some health issues involving her liver so she was not able to come this time. John's mom flew down yesterday to be with her and to help take care of things. His dad is planning on driving down on Sunday. Please pray that she can stay comfortable and the doctors can give her some answers. 

On a lighter note, I'm not sure how many of you have heard but John and I are expecting our second child in July. The baby is due on the 15th but my doctor would like to schedule the c-section for the week before which just so happens to be our third wedding anniversary. I told the doctor thanks but no thanks. Brandon was born 5 days before his due date so I think 5 days for this one would be good too, which will put the date for the 10th, 2 days after... But that is if I don't go into labor first. And I really don't want to. Now that I know I won't be delivering naturally it would make me panic.  I am anxious for the delivery though. I hope it goes better than with Brandon. Now I know what can happen, I have a lot longer to think about it... and that can be bad. I feel more prepared and I know what to expect and what should bring to the hospital and what to forget at home. But I still have these flashbacks of how horrible I felt emotionally and physically, I just wanna cry. And I do, but then I feel better and I know that God is holding my hand and giving it a squeeze. He was there with us last time and will be with us with the next one. I can remember watching all the baby programs that are on in the afternoon when I was pregnant with Brandon but after he was born I had no desire to. And just like the first time I am drawn to watch. There is something comforting about them I guess. 

Well, Brandon is more likely going to wake up soon so I should get going and get some dishes or laundry done.