Weight loss... I have for most of my life been overweight. There was a time in my early 20's that I lost quite a bit of weight and became cute. But then I started to work in a restaurant. Not that the restaurant is to blame. I just have little self control when it comes to food. Food makes me feel happy, gives me something to do. I have always liked cooking and baking. During pregnancy, oh so long ago at 13 days, I felt that I could eat what I wanted, after all, I am sure there was someone out there who had eaten worse than me, so I shouldn't feel bad. I was pregnant and entitled to eat what I wanted. I lived on processed food. Macaroni and cheese and Ramen noodles were a staple in my pantry. Oreo's, Cheetos, and peanut buttercups. French fries and ice cream.

My weight went up to 235lbs. big surprise right. I had gained over 60 pounds. And especially since I was overweight to begin with, (I was 168 at my first prenatal appointment) that number should have been quite lower. Last week a couple of days after my delivery, I was down to 218 having a 10 pound baby guaranteed I lost at least that much... The next day I had gone up to 222. Now tell me how that happens? I had been stuck at the hospital eating their food, following their guidelines for water intake and activity. I was stuck in bed except for going to the nursery to nurse Brandon and going to the bathroom. But I still gained 4 pounds. My legs and feet were so swollen. My hands and face seemed to go down and I didn't look so puffy. People who came to visit would tell me I looked better. I don't understand.
I was then put on blood pressure medication Thursday and it started to stabilize things and I eventually started to have some progress. I checked my b.p. on Monday at one of those machines you find in pharmacies and I can't quite remember but the numbers fit in the high normal range.

But 10 days later after delivery I am happy to say that I currently weigh 200.5 lbs. I can see the the bones in my feet and ankles again! I still have a long way to go. My goal is to be 100lbs lighter than my pre-delivery weight to about 135. I'm giving myself 9 months to a year to get it off. The saying goes, "It took 9 months to gain the weight, expect it to take just as long to take it off."
When I lost weight before it didn't take nearly that long. But I wasn't as heavy as I am now. I looked really heavy, I weighed 180 at my highest. I have a picture of me the summer before I took off all the weight from Aaron and Tami's wedding in 1998. Don't you find it strange to look at photos of yourself and not remembering being that big. It wasn't until I took off all the weight that I could see that I was so overweight. Now that I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was at my heaviest point and I don't feel like I look that heavy. Well, wish me luck. I will try to keep everyone posted on Brandon health and achievements and my weight loss.

We were able to come home yesterday and it had been so great! Now I really feel like a Mommy. I didn't have anyone here to call me to come and feed Brandon. It was so nice. As soon as we came home I took him to his room and nursed. I just sat there and felt such a great peace. My family was home. I started to cry because I feel so lucky to have him. I know I am still hormonal but these were genuine tears of Joy! John unloaded the car, it took about 4 trips to get all the great gifts that were given to us while we were there. Thanks to everyone who came down and brought food and company! It is truly comforting feeling that loved. After he was done eating I came into the living room and let him try out is bouncer. He seemed to like it. I sat on the couch catching up on e-mail and the like while John went to the store so he could cook dinner. Spaghetti! I didn't have much to eat that day, a couple bites of an old cinnamon roll and some popcorn. It was after 5 and I just didn't have the energy to keep my eyes open. John is a master spaghetti maker, it was so tasty. But just as I had gotten a few bites in me Brandon decided he needed to eat again. So John finished the plate he made me while I fed Brandon. It's so nice not having a room full of people that I don't know grabbing my breast and showing me how to hold him and to get him to latch on properly. Don't get me wrong, they were truly an asset to have but to know that I can do it on my own now makes me feel so good.
When he finished I handed him to John so he could be burped and so I could get something to eat. A bit later Toni text my phone and asked what we were doing. I responded and two minutes later she and Chuckie were at the door. They were just down the road and stopped by to visit shortly. They were here for about half and hour to an hour and left for home. We introduced Brandon to 007 last night and watched the latest James Bond movie. It was pretty good, strange beginning but good in the end. After a changed diaper and into a sleeper I put Brandon to bed around 8:30 and started to get ready for bed myself. I looked at the kitchen and knew I shouldn't start cleaning it up, I think the "nesting" part of pregnancy had been a little delayed and kicked in when I came home. I crawled into bed around 9 and just melted. I missed sleeping in my bed so much. To my surprise Brandon fell asleep with out much fuss. John crawled into bed around 11 after he finished watching another movie. Brandon needed a changed diaper and another feeding. Soon I was back in my warm bed with my two favorite guys. It was a great day!

This is the extremely short version of the birth and up to today. I keep remembering details. It's a lot easier for me to say it than to remember it and type it out. Monday and Tuesday are such a blur... I don't remember much after the delivery.

To give a little background, this little stinker was a breach baby, we tried doing a version but it didn't work. So we scheduled a c-section for Monday the 12th.

First, it took 2 nurses and 4 attempts to get the i.v. in and started. Then I was wheeled into the o.r. to get the spinal and after 2 attempts that didn't work, I had to be put under... Not a good start. So what seemed like 2 minutes later I was waking up in the post op room and all I really remember is the staff running around and asking me questions. It was so weird, I didn't know what I had yet (surprise baby) but I wasn't pregnant and I didn't have the baby with me... They soon rolled me into my room and someone mentioned that my mom was waiting for me and I just start bawling. I was so emotional. I didn't know what was going on. As soon as I got in the room my husband came in and said that we had a beautiful baby boy!!! I was so happy! I started crying some more. I get told a little about the birth, he was 9lbs 15.5 oz and 19 1⁄4 inches long. Such a big boy! no wonder he didn't turn! it turns out that he had his cord around his neck and it also had a knot in it. So even if I were to deliver vaginally he would have most likely died. The Lord works in mysterious ways. He was so blue it took a bit of time to turn pink. He had quite a bit of fluid in his lungs and was taken to the level II nursery so he could have round the clock supervision. He was having trouble breathing and would continue to turn blue. We had tons of tests done and not to drag this out any further it turns out that he just needed a little more practice with the whole breathing thing. I ended up getting put on Magnesium and had extreemly high blood pressure. So I didn't get discharged until Friday but I'm staying in the hospital so I can be close to him and breastfeed. He ended up getting jaundice, so on the third day he was put under the billi lights and has been having treatments ever since but he is getting off them today and if he goes through today with out any problems then we get to take him home tomorrow. He has been doing really well the last couple of days with no problems what so ever. He looks just like his daddy, and just the most precious thing I have ever known. Good Luck to all the other March Mommies and to everyone else.

So tomorrow is the big day and it probably will be a while before I have a chance to write again... I mean if I have this much trouble before I have a baby on my hip 24/7... how much time will I have after? I will try to write as much as possible. We might take the laptop to the hospital but I doubt we will have an internet connection there. But who knows. John and I spent the day yesterday apart. He was at the shop until about 9 and I was home by myself hoping he was on his way... But he just wanted to be as caught up as possible before this week. He's taking monday and tuesday off and will be in and out of the shop the rest of the week, just to make sure everything is going smoothly. So he'll be doing a lot of driving back and forth... I hope that I'll be released from the hospital by thursday. I can't wait to meet Peanut. My emotions are like a rollercoaster. I was thinking today that by this time tomorrow I won't be pregnant anymore and I got a little sad. I kinda liked having the baby all to myself. But I have to realize that John wants some Peanut time too and I'm sure so does everyone else.... I don't think there is much more room inside either. Last night John and I woke up around the same time. I had to pee and couldn't get back to sleep. I heard him grab his water so I knew he was awake and we talked a little while. We both had been tossing and turning for a while. I was starving and even though it was 5 in the morning I decided to get up and get a bowl of chereos. I don't like eating at night but lately I'll get so hungry at night that I'll just get restless and not be able to fall asleep again. And just like magic, as soon as I get back in bed I'm out like a light. Well, John and I plan on getting to bed around 8 tonight so when we wake up at 4:30 we will hopefully have gotten enough sleep to help us through the day.
I hope everyone will be praying for us and I will try to keep everyone caught up on what's going on. Good night!

Well to update everyone on how the version went I will tell you what happend. John and I arrived at the hospital at 7am and the nuses thought were supposed to be there at 8 so we sat in the waiting room for about 20 minutes and we were then sent to our room for the day. I filled out some paperwork and changed into the lovely hospital gown. Dr. Drake came in and felt around my abdomen to make sure the baby was still head up. The nurse that was assigned to me, Beth, was great! She hooked me up to the fetal monitor and the contraction monitor. At first we couldn't find the heartbeat where we had found it the day before, up above my bellybutton, but today it was where it should have been... below. So we brought in the sonogram machine and it was pretty ancient but it did the job. the head was definately down. Durring my stay, waiting for the proceedure to start Dr. Drake came in and let us know that it will be a bit longer, there was a woman who was only 33 weeks along but 6cm dialated. And as you can imagine had priority over me. I could not imagine what she must be going through. So we got started when the doctor came back. He checked by ultrasound where the baby was, my placenta, which was the baby was facing. Dr. Drake then said a quick prayer for us and the baby and we got started. He put a lot of that ky type gel on my stomach and started to push the baby's bottom out of my pelvis. That didn't feel too horrible. But when he started to pull the baby's head down, it was excruciating. Beth held one hand and John held the other and she kept reminding me to breathe. He was able to move the baby a little bit one way but didn't want to risk hurting the baby or me more. So he went the other way and the baby moved more the other direction but not nearly enough to make the baby "head down". I was able to tollerate the pain a lot better than I thought, I'm just wondering how close pain wise was what that felt like to contractions. I did pretty welll, it was terrible and I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to do that for more than an hour... without drugs.
So the only other alternative to getting this baby out is a c-section. The hospital won't deliver breach babies naturally beacuse of the risks... especially for first time mom's. So the date is set for me to have the c-section on Monday the 12th 7:45 am. I was required to stay a couple more hours hooked up to the monitors. I kept having contractions and it took quite a while for the baby's heartrate to get back to where it should be. Baby didn't like all that pushing and pulling. After the baby was doing well they fed me. John fell asleep watching a hockey game so I was stuck eating my hospital lunch and watching the redwings and colorado not score any goals. The nuse came in checked the baby and said that we could leave at 11:00am.
It felt good to get up after, I had to go to the bathroom so bad. We waited for the wheelchair to be brought up and escort us to the car. We stopped off and got something for John to eat at Panda express and were on our way home. I woke up quite a bit after I was able to move around a bit. My stomach was really tender and it hurt to do much. We came home and just crashed on the couch. We finished watching one of the movies we rented. Around 2:00 we headed for bed and took a nice nap, I slept with out waking up for 2 1/2 hours. I haven't slept that long for months. And probably won't for a few more...

Well I had my 38 week appointment today and since my appoiontment last Monday the baby decided to be a brat and flip. The doctor was doing his routine heartbeat check and when he couldn't' find it he moved the Doppler near the top of my abdomen and there it was. I knew what that meant. I just read about breech babies the night before... isn't that ironic. Last Monday baby was head down. I would have assumed that I would have felt the baby flipping... But like Clifford says you know what happens when you assume... You make an ass out of u and me. So now instead of being head down it is now head up feet up in the "Frank breech" position... So Sunday morning at 7 we will check into the Labor & delivery ward of Portland Adventist and try to turn the baby by External Cephalic Version. If it is successful then we will be okay, but there are risks involved and I may be having this baby on Sunday or scheduling a cesarean section. Just pray that if I do, and there is a very very small chance that I will, need a c-section then everything will turn out okay and the baby is healthy.

As I was telling John today, while he was flushing a transmission, he didn't seem concerned about not being able to sleep in on Sunday but when I told him that we might have the baby this Sunday he got a little excited. "This Sunday!?!?!?" Well we only have two left before the baby is officially due so there aren't too many left. He has been making comments about how much he wants to hold the baby. It must be hard for someone to love something so much and now be able to have physical contact with them. I told him that he can hold the baby as much as he wants after s/he's born. We have everything ready as far as what we'll need for the first couple of weeks. Lots of blankets and enough clothes to last us until we can make it out and buy something pink or blue. During the ultrasound today i thought I may have seen a "hot dog" but it could have been anything. I couldn't really see the screen and he was moving the detector thing around so much i couldn't see anything for long.

So that is what is going on. I was thinking it might be nice to go into labor tomorrow as it is a full moon but, now that the idea that I may actually have this baby this weekend, it's freaking me out! I will call Shannon and let her know what is going on and she can tell everyone else whether or not Peanut is here. But don't expect a personal phone call from me... I have no idea what my emotions will be like until later and if they are anything like they have been today I'll be crying... then happy and then hungry, then angry until i get something to eat in me. Wish me and Peanut luck!